onsdag den 18. november 2009

My story - The Beginning

Sounds top brass when you write it like that. Been a while since I posted (shame on me), but life keeps me bussy and inspiration is a must. Anyway I figured it's about time I started to pull my own story out of the chest, since that's what you're here for, is it not? Anyways, as all "good stories" should begin, lets begin with the beginning and a little introduction!

Today I don't play World of Warcraft anymore and I've 'recovered' fairly well from my so called wow-psychosis. It havn't been easy though, and as sad as it is, I still really can't get myself to delete my two last figures. Perhaps it's just as well, considered that I can easily say I've spend at least over 300 days straight, of my life, playing WoW.

I've replaced my riding animals and little pets in game with a real horse and a cat; the endless hours of fighting against monsters, have been brought to live through figure boardgames with friends, and the time I spend on roleplay in the World of Warcraft, is now spend on real life human beings, and ocassionally some good six hours of roleplaying once a month.

I have been one of the lucky ones, who discovered just how many friends I actually did - and still do - have outside the World of Warcraft (even though I neglected them for almost 2 years) and that the real life is so much better than anything a fictional world could ever offer me. I am amazed that they did hold on to me, in spite of everything. And sometimes I shamefully forget to thank them for their support; it meant everything to me and my 'recovery'.

First time I was introduced to the World of Warcraft was through a friend, who lend me his account/subscription. Actually I think I started playing it after I came home from boarding school but I'm not completely sure. It's long ago now.

Anyhow, I think it was around end 2005 I made my first character on my friends account, and made contact with the game for real. At first I just played it ocassionally in the evenings, since I've always had a lot of other interests; like roleplaying games and figure games, even archery and horseback riding. Mostly socialising have been one of my strong sides and as mentioned above, I've always had a great bunch of friends. I found the game a bit borring in the start, so I played seldomly. I've played some other computergames as well, so I wont deny that they interest me at some point, but they had never been as consuming as World of Warcraft became.

My first figure was called Silverleaf, and early on in the game I met another player. He was from Finland, male - and two years older than me. Further on I'll refer to him as Rossy. We spoke a lot, and began to meet up in game evening after evening, to play together and talk.
The talking was the part of it I enjoyed the most; and too soon this guy, I had never seen a picture of or met, woke some misplaced feeling of attraction in me. When I think back, this was what made me return to the World of Warcraft more often; not only was it easier to talk in letters, but I also found that it did not require very much of me at first.
At this time in my life, I had a very nice boyfriend. We were together almost two years, all in all, but at the time I 'met' WoW, there were some difficulties due to him having to join the army. Actually I think they had been there quite a while before, the spark just wasn't there as it used to be. We only saw once every second week, and on hollidays.
In the start I spend the time with my boyfriend when he was finally there, but then one weekend he decided to buy World of Warcraft as well. We were supposed to play together, but embarrasing enough, I spend all my time with Rossy. Surprisingly enough it was only a matter of time, before my boyfriend got hooked on WoW as well and made his own friends. As he had a lot of sparetime he advanced quicklier than me, so it became natural that I couldn't do the same things as him. Today, I belive this was also one of the things that split us up.
When they released a new update to the game in 2006, I bought my own account/subscription and made a new character; again, one where I didn't have the possibility to play together with my boyfriend. I kept to Silverleaf though before, for the single reason that Rossy was on the server. At this time I think I had already drawn Rossy deeply into my life, and we had exchanged pictures and phonennumbers. I even gave him my address. And soon we had also planned that he should come and visit me. I remember on one side it exited me, but on the other it gave me this wierd feeling in my stomac - like something were really really wrong. Perhaps becuase I had not told this to my boyfriend and I knew my mother would never agree to let him stay.
You might ask yourself how I could even think of inludgeing another person I didn't know a shit about to be frank, so totally and completely in my life. He could be anyone, some sicko or worse, but I honestly felt I knew him very well. We had, afterall, been sitting up talking for hours and hours (both on phone and cam) for almost 4 months and inside my head, I had created a picture of him, based on what I knew and - what I wanted, I think. The guy went very far for me, I have to say. Actually, he wanted to come and visit me so much, that he convinced his own mum to give him the plane ticket to Denmark, as a christmas present. It was the plan that he would visit the 16th of December, 2006.
And when we were in the end of November, there were about two weeks untill this stranger arrived in the Airport and took the train to my hometown. And I still had not told my mum - or my boyfriend - about this arrangement. I remember that the guilt almost ate me up, and that I was very confused and fustrated, since NOTHING seemed to fit. First and foremost, I was about to decieve my boyfriend through 2 years, for someone I had never met. I was willing at some point, to break up all we had had, for the small chance that I liked this Rossy.
It seems completely insane to me when I look back today, and a complete lack of all common sense and dignity. And it frightens me, how much I was willing to give for this person from World of Warcraft, but I had convinced myself that this Rossy REALLY was something special; I werw sure of it!
How the visit went, I'll save for the next time. But I can assure you it was a real mess, and didn't get better with time. Up for next weeks (hopefully) subject, is the parential question, posted in the "NoobZ! What is World of Warcraft anyway?" thread.
We all know that parents never know what theyre talking about and that they always just want to make things bad for you. Furthermore they don't understand anything, and you have to eksplain the most simple things to them a hundred times before they get it, right?
You'll be amazed how wise parents become over time, when you grow up.

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